just say yes

I feel that I must get opinions upon matters that confuse and irritate me. In many aspects, I suppose I don't trust my own judgment, but after some thought, I think I have realized something. I think that I must try to understand why I have these feelings and not only evaluate the facts. The facts are important and often determine the appropriateness of the reaction; however, if something makes you feel very strongly, then you must assume that there is reasoning behind it.
I personally thought that I was just downright crazy. But I must have chosen to take on this person's confusion which, because I was so involved, was not entirely my fault. Now I am unsure of my own self. No one has the right to make you unsure of yourself. Know that. Memorize it. Live it.
That person may just think that I am crazy right now. But I am only looking for answers to keep the confusion at bay. To move past it, I must only make the decision to, and not waste my mind away.
So here I am talking to you, whoever you are, trying to avoid a mental breakdown. If you have never experienced such confusion or have never been on the recieving end of this sort of treatment, read this and learn to empathize.
Rules can be a very good thing. But if they do not allow you to ever act upon feeling, there is something lacking...or too much there. If you completely avoid an experience, person, way of life, you will never know if you like it or not. That sucks. That is no way to live.
 I have recently realized that I just hate it when people say no to me. For any reason really. I know that it may seem childish, but don't ever just say no. Have you ever seen the movie "Yes Man"? In this movie, a man that normally says no, is made to say yes to just about everything. This causes him to actually have a life and to experience amazing things that he never would have had the opportunity to experience had he stopped it before it happened.
Thought for the day: go with the flow and do not say "no" right away. Try saying "yes" to more things and maybe you'll be happier with your life for it.

Flashback

Freeze.
An image from, only two years ago. She's laughing, thin (well, thinner than me), and she's just about as pretty as someone like her can get. I envy her.
I envy me. I don't remember being particularly happy that year. I honestly don't remember much about it, just that it was a very different day than today. I almost wished I had not seen those pictures. How did I get like this, if I had once been like that. Yes, life changes, but I shouldn't make myself change with life. Right? There should be a foundation, a stability point that I should be able to circle around. I just don't have that kind of determination....
which is sad, i suppose. I can't blame others when they go with the tide, I just would hope better of myself. See?
Not that I wish I were someone else; that's not it at all. I'm just searching for the better me. The problem is that I found her in the past...not the future. I'm sensing major changes.
On the better side of news today: I am having a poem published :) it's not too huge of a deal, but it's my first! So, needless to say, I'm psyched!
Thought for the day: In what period of time is your best self? If they are in the past, maybe it's time to touch base with them in the future...

poetry week :)

Anyone is welcome to post in "comments" their favorite poems! I just want to share a few: some of mine and some other interesting ones. I never liked reading poetry until i was interested in writing it, except for the following poet:

God's Wheel by Shel Silverstein

GOD says to me with a kind
of smile, "Hey how would you like
to be God awhile And steer the world?"
"Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try.

Where do I set?
How much do I get?
What time is lunch?
When can I quit?"

"Gimme back that wheel," says GOD.
"I don't think you're quite ready YET."

 

Forgotten Language by Shel Silverstein

Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?

 

Silverstein is a very fun read. Note that he has a very particular "voice" in each of his poems that is unmistakeable. I once memorized two of his poems for a 4-H presentation and I remember them to this day:

Snowball

I made myself a snowball
as perfect as can be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
and let it sleep with me.

I made it some pajamas,
and a pillow for its head,
but then last night it ran away,
but first it wet the bed.

This poem has always been my favorite :) You have to love how fun they are!

Thought for the day: Read more poetry and write one poem about absolutely anything that comes to mind. I'll give you guidlines later!