Don't Even Ask...

Driving down the road through heavy traffic is a fairly new concept to me. I used to get up at least 2 hours after everyone was already at work. Naturally, I guess I am a late riser; late to bed, late to rise. I mean, what is there to get up for? What kid really wants a job when she can just hang out at home watching tv all day? That is probably what I would be doing right now if I did not actually have to go.
Some parents cannot wait for their child to get a job and are the reason most kids have to go to work. I don't think my mother even mentioned it...But without having a job early on, I wouldn't be able to care for my children.  Do you know when this all started? I think I might. I was about 6 years old and living in the suburbs. We had about 100 feet of backyard and we had recently given away our collie dog who did not quite understand that he couldn't have the whole town to romp around in. He went to live on a farm. I wanted another dog and I guess I mentioned a horse too. I thought that when we moved it was because I wanted a horse and we didn't have enough room. Silly me. But when you put such occurrences so close together, how was my little mind supposed to understand that I was not the cause for moving?
Well, that was the start  I guess. I didn't like my first horse, which I think would come as a surprise to anybody. Every girl wants a horse, just be happy you have one, right? I was 12 and she was...well, too friendly. Thinking back now, I bet she was pretty good, we just didn't hit it off. I didn't want to get up at 7:30am for her. People thought I was lazy and that horses were a phase. I'm telling you now, I just didn't like her.
Then came Jazz and Memory Lane in the same year. I was in love with the orange chestnut mare who wouldn't look at anyone unless they carried food. So I carried a LOT of it. They had been neglected and were underweight. They became my life. Every fiber of my being was dedicated to making them better. I was out there with them everyday; brushing, sitting, feeding, riding them. I got up every school day at 5:30am for them. Memory Lane lived to be 36 years old and I like to think of her as a grandmother figure to me. Jazz I gave away only recently. I miss you baby.
I look back and I even wonder at how amazing clicking with a horse is. Everyone else is just left out when you look at them. Onlookers cannot see it. I know this because of how many people who told me to sell them. Not my Jazzy baby. Anyone who could feel it would never tell me that. Tears stream down my cheeks even thinking it. There is nothing I would rather be doing then just sitting out in the pasture with them grazing around me, dogs lying next to me, cat in my lap.
So folks, you can ask me anything. You can ask me about my future, you can reprimand me about it, but I have no future without my horse, without my dogs, without my cat. They have kept me alive as I have kept them alive. So don't even ask.

Thought for the day: DON'T EVEN ASK. think about what you would be without an animal in your life, and when you're done sobbing hysterically, and becoming outrageously depressed, you can talk to me about it.