Screaming!!!!!!!!

I guess everyone has those days when they are so full of it, even if they don't know what "it" is. The slightest things set me of this afternoon and I am so glad that nobody heard me.
At least Jazzy understands (see picture in previous post), she turns her head and swivels an ear in my direction. She just stands in the sandy arena, tolerating my hearty swearing and streaming eyes in response to the unfair world...over nothing really, but I just can't seem to stop. I know what you're thinking, but this is not pms, I think it must have been building frustration. I suppose that everyone needs a good vent once in a while...only, I was hoping that it would put me in a better mood. I seemed to have the rapt attention of all the horses in the barn; for once I was making more noise than them.
I know that so many people say that they love talking to animals because they don't talk back, but I don't think those people are good listeners. Animals put in their 2 cents every once in a while. My dog groans loudly if he has seen a movie more than twice or if you rant about the same thing all the time. If you are talking about him, he looks at you out of the corner of his eye.
Jazzy keeps eye contact with me while i'm speaking, when I leave and come back, her nostrils quiver, nickering. Who needs people when they're around? I honestly cannot picture my life without them.

Well, It is Superbowl Sunday and I am currently in the ER. The hospital is force-feeding me football in the waiting room. I glance up once in a while to see the commercials. I have never watched any part of the game before or its commercials. Police officers wander in and out of the room, nonchalantly watching the tv for a moment, and then returning to wherever it is they had come from.
Everyone is on facebook, which shows me that they are not giving the game their full attention. HAHA, I caught you.... :)
And I am stuck here, in the ER, missing good movies, a run on my elliptical, and an awesome piece of pie; perhaps I would be doing all of this simultaneously. Yup, fun stuff on a typical evening. The point is, I could never do that on a school night.
Thought for the day: If you're going to rant, make it short :P

Life writing

I had a professor tell me today that I was an amazing writer...needless to say I love her right now. That may just be the difference between a fictional writing class versus a literature class; they consist of much different professors with different reading and writing preferences. I suppose there is also a major difference between the genders on this subject. From my own personal experience, women tend to like things that are more poetically written, even if the poetry is vulgar, it cannot be harsh. Men tend to like the opposite: the ugly truth, drop-dead honesty. As a writer, I tend to display everything- even ugly emotions in beautiful script. No, this does not mean that I am always an optomist or trying to make something what it is not; I simply want to make it enjoyable to read, no matter how devastating the actual topic.
When an author writes something so blatantly, it shows me that they cannot create depth to their writing and they might be writing just as they speak. I would not want to have a conversation with that person. I believe that life itself is not always beautiful, and in those moments it is better to make some aspect of it so.
Thought for the day: Try to make your words (whether spoken or written) beautiful.

In the perfect world

In the end, it is my own feelings, my own emotions that completely throw me off. I know how my characters would handle the world; they would take each obstacle in stride and never lose control, never say the wrong thing. That is not my life. When am I ever really in control? I want it, need it so badly. If I could control my life as if it were a novel. I cannot write anyone else's script, but I even find that I cannot write my own...it is disappointing and often painful.
I cannot find the perfect people for me... or rather the perfect person, but then I think. What if my longings are completely made up? Do I simply imagine them so that they fit into this story that I have worked up in my mind. These perfect moments grow higher in my esteem, but still I choose to jump without even checking if there are sharp rocks at the bottom.
Maybe if my adrenaline stopped pumping I would become bored and uninterested even in my perfect world. That's awful, but it is these thoughts that keep running through my mind. I jump when I should not jump and linger at the edge if maybe I should.
Thought for the day: Think first, but not too much.