Copyright

Creative Commons License
What I Would Do To Avoid A Mental Breakdown by Janna Herchenroder is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Monday, October 31, 2011

My published poem...


Read me

How can one assign a voice to words?
How can one know what we sound like?
If there should be a slight pause there
More emphasis here?
The voice that one chooses might drip with color
But a color that has nothing to do with meaning.
I could look like bright ripe cherries filling an orchard,
When in fact I’m on a boat out on
The churning sea that has not seen a cherry in weeks.
No,
I think you should just look at us
With our delicate lettering
Our mysteries that are different
Depending on how black one’s coffee was this morning,
The article in one’s favorite news column,
How soft one’s pajamas were
The night before.
All of these things are accounted for
With the slightly confused,
Smug, bored, sad, thrilled, or angry
Look on your face when you read me.



This is my published poem. I have put it up on my blog because I am not making money when the book sells...if you Are interested in buying the compilation book of poems: "From a Window: Balance" . Thank you for reading :)

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Let us consider for a moment....

...The Couch under my butt. My laziness has appalled me today, but for once, I would like to rest on someone. So, my dear Couch, you are a savior to me. 
Although, I do not seem a terribly optimistic person, I have my ways of bringing you up that might make sense only to me. If I seem harsh, cold, too practical, or too detached, it is because I feel that you must stand on your own. It is a lesson that I have learned over a long period of time, that I would like to make shorter for you. 
I have found, in my vast amount of years on this Earth (hehe), that there is nothing worse than relying on other people. They will say the most wonderful things, introduce wonderful ideas of how good they will be to you, what fun you'll have....then drop you on your soft behind until you've become so bruised, you will even find the softness of your bed not quite adequate. 
So, friends, I now introduce the idea of holding a pillow under you, so that when you fall, you will not bruise quite so hard. Do not believe, without copious amounts of proof, that you can lean on a person. If you need someone right now, a shoulder to cry on, I would get a dog (cats break under this sort of pressure). 
In order to hold up on your own and not lay trust on every living, breathing creature, you must build yourself up. If you need someone to speak to, you will find that the different sections of your mind become quite interesting opinions and make for wonderful conversation. You will also find that you make a great cheerleading squad all by yourself. 
Now as you're reading this, I am certain that by now you're thinking me quite mad, and possibly phoning my mother or any institution that may help. Please consider, friends, that this is an extremist attitude that does not have to last forever, but is helpful in the first stages of partitioning off. After a certain amount of time, you can become a "one-man army" that doesn't just trust every single person on the street. 
An important note to make also: actual trustworthy people (completely hypothetical) who encounter people who have been practicing this attitude for a long time: climbing these walls WILL take time and effort. That is the whole purpose of having this attitude. Only the TRUE good eggs will actually make it into your life. 


Thought for the day: Be more supportive of yourself. Don't look to others to bring you up if you can't rely on yourself to give it a good go.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Salty Eyes


I said I would never
Give myself away
That I would always be mine
To love and cherish.
Then you happened.
And I saw your eyes
And I kissed your smile
And I don’t know where I went.

Then you left me
As suddenly as you came
And I am lost.
These pathways I tread
Are supposed to keep me happy.
I never thought of you
In my plan.

This ink has spilt all over
The blueprints of my life
I cannot remember
The coordinates
And I am lost at sea.

You have muddled the shape
Of the constellations
And the North Star
Has veered off to the South.

I paddle my oars
In panic
But there is no shore in sight
And my map has fallen into the
Salty sea
That I fear I might have created.

Do not bother coming back
Because I would rather
Die here
Not knowing where I am
Than being drowned by you
In your eyes,
That I lost myself in.

To the Wall Adjacent to My Bed:




Your coolness is exactly
What I need.
A hard, unyielding presence
To take the place of
His warm body.

I caress my fingertips
To you
And feel safely confined,
A stopper to the endless
Reaches of my thoughts.
He is not here, he is not here.
It is just you and me
Help me fall asleep…

Fear


Fear…
In the corner
There is a shadow
At times it leaps to my eye
And forms a shape.
It lies there
Heavy with potential
Until nightfall.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes...

Alfred Noyes (1880-1958)
                                   The Highwayman
                                        PART ONE
                                                 I
    THE wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
    The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
    The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
    And the highwayman came riding—
                      Riding—riding—
    The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.
                                                 II
    He'd a French cocked-hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,
    A coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;
    They fitted with never a wrinkle: his boots were up to the thigh!
    And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
                      His pistol butts a-twinkle,
    His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.
                                                 III
    Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard,
    And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred;
    He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
    But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
                      Bess, the landlord's daughter,
    Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.
                                                 IV
    And dark in the dark old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked
    Where Tim the ostler listened; his face was white and peaked;
    His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
    But he loved the landlord's daughter,
                      The landlord's red-lipped daughter,
    Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say—
                                                 V
    "One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize to-night,
    But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
    Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
    Then look for me by moonlight,
                      Watch for me by moonlight,
    I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."
                                                 VI
    He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,
    But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
    As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
    And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
                      (Oh, sweet, black waves in the moonlight!)
    Then he tugged at his rein in the moonliglt, and galloped away to the West.

                                        PART TWO
                                                 I
    He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon;
    And out o' the tawny sunset, before the rise o' the moon,
    When the road was a gypsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,
    A red-coat troop came marching—
                      Marching—marching—
    King George's men came matching, up to the old inn-door.
                                                 II
    They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,
    But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;
    Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets at their side!
    There was death at every window;
                      And hell at one dark window;
    For Bess could see, through her casement, the road that he would ride.
                                                 III
    They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;
    They had bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
    "Now, keep good watch!" and they kissed her.
                      She heard the dead man say—
    Look for me by moonlight;
                      Watch for me by moonlight;
    I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!
                                                 IV
    She twisted her hands behind her; but all the knots held good!
    She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
    They stretched and strained in the darkness, and the hours crawled by like years,
    Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,
                      Cold, on the stroke of midnight,
    The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!
                                                 V
    The tip of one finger touched it; she strove no more for the rest!
    Up, she stood up to attention, with the barrel beneath her breast,
    She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again;
    For the road lay bare in the moonlight;
                      Blank and bare in the moonlight;
    And the blood of her veins in the moonlight throbbed to her love's refrain .
                                                 VI
        Tlot-tlot; tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hoofs ringing clear;
    Tlot-tlot, tlot-tlot, in the distance? Were they deaf that they did not hear?
    Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
    The highwayman came riding,
                      Riding, riding!
    The red-coats looked to their priming! She stood up, straight and still!
                                                 VII
    Tlot-tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot-tlot, in the echoing night!
    Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
    Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,
    Then her finger moved in the moonlight,
                      Her musket shattered the moonlight,
    Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him—with her death.
                                                 VIII
    He turned; he spurred to the West; he did not know who stood
    Bowed, with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!
    Not till the dawn he heard it, his face grew grey to hear
    How Bess, the landlord's daughter,
                      The landlord's black-eyed daughter,
    Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.
                                                 IX
    Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,
    With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
    Blood-red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
    When they shot him down on the highway,
                      Down like a dog on the highway,
    And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.
                  *           *           *           *           *           *
                                                 X
    And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
    When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
    When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
    A highwayman comes riding—
                      Riding—riding—
    A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.

                                                 XI
    Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard;
    He taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred;
    He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
    But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
                      Bess, the landlord's daughter,
    Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.


Make sure that you read this more than once. This poem has such an impact on me. This is what you must think of when you think of human potential; both the writing style and the topic. Picture this in your mind. Long for the "purple moor", for the suddenness of love. How does this relate to contemporary culture? How much does this poem rely upon it's setting? 

This poem saddens me for the loss of an older culture; one that was more simple, more emotional, with more belief in the supernatural. There is a huge lack of this kind of writing in today's society.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Art of Learning



So we show her
How to laugh.
We show our teeth
And let out a loud cry
Supposedly of joy.

How to succeed
To not take no for an answer.
To push away our happiness,
Our laughter
Until there is time for it
If there is time for it.

So we show her
That love is earned
By your grades
Your attitude
By how perfect your smile is
How tight your handshake
We will determine your perfection.

How to pay attention
And to obey without question
Even if your thoughts are racing
Behind your eyes.

But no one thought to teach her
To cry out in pain,
To succumb to bursts of laughter.
That love is unconditional
And she is never alone.
That joy should be treasured
And that there is always time for happiness.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

What Time We Have

At least I don't go halfway;
I will subject myself to
heartbreak,
imposition,
betrayal.

I will always go 
farther for you
than you will go for me
because i am
loyal,
unconditional,
selfish.

I will keep you
to myself
so that one moment
in my life
will be happy,
will be worth it.

I can only hope 
that i will be
worth your time
because time
is of the essence
and time
is limited.

I have decided
that you are worth mine.
Am I worth yours?


Thursday, October 6, 2011

dear me..

Lord, let me feel,
as you do,
as you want me to.
I hold back when i shouldn't,
and I give in when I should hold
myself to myself...

But these tears,
they build and tower above me
until they fall like bricks
and stub my toes
and yours...

I will hold myself
In my own arms
until the shame,
the hate,
the loneliness leaves me

But someday,
I want your arms to hold me.
I want you to take
my hatred,
my doubt,
my shame,
and let me cry
or stare lovingly at the wall
if that is what i need most.